WHAT IN THE WORLD?
Let me set the scene. You know when you’re having a reallllly bad day? Or maybe even a really bad week? Whatever the case may be- when I am having a bad day, my tolerance level decreases dramatically. Like, plummets in the the deep, dark depths of the unknown. However, this doesn’t mean I get to treat people badly. It’s not their personal fault (or at least most of the time ) that your expensive shoes got ruined by a glob of mayonnaise (gross) or that your computer wouldn’t work for 3 hours during a horribly busy time.
So today (back to me setting the scene because, well, I got off track—call it being so mad I got side-railed) I am driving through my neighborhood. I have Gaga blaring and I am using this retreat home as a personal break. You know, that song is playing loudly and you’re singing like you own it and finally feeling a bit better? Yeah, that was me. So I am in bliss car-dancing mode and a person in front of me suddenly pulls to the side….and I mean suddenly. We are going about 30 and I am not following too close so I slam the brakes but I am safe. Bothered, but safe. I did a gesture guys. I put both my hands up in a “I don’t know” sort of way- but what I really meant was…whhhhattttt? However, it was innocuous. It was not mean. It was not profanic (also note- I swear regularly so my holding back is a feat).
THE RESPONSE?
The driver gets out of her vehicle flipping me off with both hands and calls me the “C” word. Screaming it actually…in my neighborhood. She is waving her hands like she’s flagging and incoming plane on a runway. Her face is beet red and she then starts beating her chest with her fist (cue Fear movie flashbacks).
I was scared out of my skull. I thought it was going to be one of the stories on the news. But then, I got mad. I got really mad. My tolerance level is low after all. I have had a bad day myself. But I know responding to these types of people (and yes, it’s a type) is just fueling the fire. I knew I had to act by example. But how? How could I be better?
I thought, maybe she’s having an awful day….maybe her shoes got mayo on them. I mean after all, she was the one that caused a non- event really. I took a deep breath. Somehow I stopped the swear words boiling in my throat. I rolled down my window a tiny bit and said ” hope you have a nice day and I’m sorry if someone treated you badly and now you’re taking out on me- after you stopped short. Goodbye”.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Well, to my surprise she started crying. Bawling. Ugly sobbing to the max. She explained her husband just stole her KitchenAid mixer in a divorce fight. Cannot make this story up- and I kinda get it I really like my mixer too. She softened and looked defeated as her shoulders slumped. As I am writing this, I still have no idea why she stopped. Maybe she had had enough and just needed to escape. Maybe she got a phone call from the divorce lawyer. Maybe she owns a bakery and her mixer is literally life.
I felt for her, and normally I probably would have thrown the bird and screamed in my car rather than doing what I did. Instead, I just nodded and said “I am sorry that happened- I really am” to which she exclaimed “Thank you-at least someone cares…I am feeling so alone right now…maybe hot chocolate would help!”. I gently nodded and as she got back into her vehicle and slithered away.
After my adrenaline had calmed (realizing the best action may not have been to confront and angry driver), I was a bit proud of myself. I am trying to be better. I am trying and with this example I didn’t let the situation escalate. This was really difficult for me as my temper isn’t exactly docile. I am not perfect and I am in no way always the best example. Today I was.
You can be today too. Be better.